Sunday, May 10, 2015

On Mother's Day, and How My Sissy Got Me To Write Again...

It took me many, many years and many, many tears to understand that the relationship that I had with my sister would evolve into the most important relationship of my life. Hallmark tells you; Conroy’s tells you; your mama tells you…your sister is your best friend.

I am blessed in that I have two older sisters. I have a different relationship with each of them and though it is hard to justify why I am much closer with Claudia than I am with Marissa, I am left with the feeling that it simply is the way life was meant to be.

A couple of weeks ago, I proposed to a friend of mine that we should begin to write in a journal and let each other read it. He is an older student from work who I have become friends with. As it had been nearly five years since I had sat down to write for pleasure, I thought this journal would serve as an opportunity for each of us to express ourselves freely, without the worry of anyone ever critiquing our work. The goal was that he would start it, hand it to me to read, and I would return the book with a piece of my own writing included.

Weeks went by and neither one of us had written anything; he seemed busy with school and work. I just couldn't find the motivation to write.

Until now.
Until Mother’s Day.
Until I began to think critically about my relationship with my sissy, Claudia.

And so, instead of buying a cardigan—she loves cardigans, instead of buying her a Subway gift card—she loves Subway, and instead of buying her a nice bottle of wine—boy, does she love wine, I decided to use my relationship with her as my motivation to write again.

To my sissy, Claudia, thank you so much for being my rock. Thank you for always supporting every decision that I make, no matter how awful the consequences oftentimes turn out to be. Thank you for helping me to guide my children and for being there for them when it’s too much for them to reach out to me. Thank you for making the choice to be in my life—I am sure over the last 43 years I have given you enough reasons to run away from me!

They Didn't Ask
They didn't ask to be sisters.
Creator simply saw a way of putting twin hearts in the same universe at the same time of the same mother,

They didn't ask to be friends.
Rather, they found it conveniently easy to be enemies—and as enemies the two of them found that birds of the same feather will undoubtedly flock together.

They didn't ask to share space.
The bedroom they shared throughout their childhood went from birdcage to enchanted forest to concert hall to study room all in one day.
While one wanted pink walls, the other wanted green.
While one wanted Culture Club posters, the other plastered “her” walls with Quiet Riot.
There was a time when masking tape marked geographical territory…a measuring tape or yard stick always did the trick!

They didn't ask to raise children together.
When one had a child, it was as if the child was born to two mothers.
Their children fight like siblings cry together as siblings giggle to secret jokes under covers at sleepovers, just as the sisters did when growing up.

They didn't ask to grow up and be each other’s best friend.
Their garden was named Argument, but what grew from it were flowers named Understanding, Empathy, Love, Compassion, Companionship, Advice, and Wisdom. These beautiful flowers weren't expected, but were welcomed and never taken for granted because…

They didn't ask to be sisters.
Creator simply saw a way of putting twin hearts in the same universe at the same time of the same mother.

Thank you, Creator, for the gift of my sister!

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