BEAST Mode Day 85: Last night before I went to bed I said a little prayer that I would wake up 50 pounds thinner. I began to pray, “Dear God, you know how much it would mean to me if you just tip the scale in my direction tomorrow morning. And while you’re at it, give me a little over 50 just to make it seem like I worked REALLY hard this week.”I slept like a baby last night. I had a dream that I was running a marathon in the streets of Mexico and there were hundreds of stray dogs following me because they thought I had bacon in my pockets. One of the dogs asked me to slow down because I was running too fast for them and they had not eaten all day. I was so excited that a dog was talking to me. I was so excited that I was running faster than dogs! Those two factors made it perfectly clear to me that it was all a dream—the bacon-in-my-pocket part of the dream didn’t really phase me because I probably have done that dozens of times.
I ignored the call of my alarm the first time and slipped back into sweet, much-needed slumber.Waking up on Fridays is bittersweet; it is WEIGH DAY, the moment of truth when I get on the scale and see the progress for the week. I anticipated this week’s WEIGH DAY about as much as a child anticipates opening up presents on Christmas morning because my first (what I believed to be) insurmountable target was on the horizon...the 50 pound mark!
This is the part where I vividly describe the way in which I stretched like a lazy cat before getting out of bed; where I describe the sensation of my bare feet hitting the wooden floor for the first time of the day; where I describe the anticipation that was building up as I walked into my bathroom, positioned my scale, waited for it to get to 0.0, and stepped on; where I describe how I exhaled as hard as my lungs would let me because in my head, my breath carries weight with it; where I describe the joy in my heart when I look down and see that number staring back at me in bold, red brightness. But I won’t bore you with all those details.
Two hundred and eighty four pounds was the goal to hit this week in order to hit the 50-pound weight loss goal. When I looked down and saw that the scale read 282.6, it took everything in my core not to begin singing Eye of the Tiger and high-fiving my image in the mirror! I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT! I hit the goal, and then some, achieving a total of nearly 52 POUNDS!
Truth be told, I became extremely emotional. I slowly bent down to put the scale away and said a little prayer of thanks to Creator for every person who has stood by me while on this journey…For my husband, Juanito, whose unwavering support I can always rely on. He is the one who listens to my bones crack in the morning and who hears the stories about why my muscles ache after a workout. He is the one who watches me eats food he can’t even pronounce without ever suggesting that I eat the same meals the family is eating. For shouldering the responsibility of the household because his wife is out walking her boon off or sweating in BEAST Mode at the gym, and never, ever telling me that I shouldn't be on this journey.
For my children, who have never once asked me why I spend time away from them working out or walking in the neighborhood. Who join me on walks to the park, do sit-ups with me on the couch, and eat my Greek yogurt before I can get to it all. I don’t know what I would do if one of them told me that they consider my journey to be a selfish act.
For my family. For my mother who has stopped offering me enchiladas and refried beans, but who now sends me home with bags of fruits and veggies and dry beans to cook at home. For not telling me that I am crazy for leaving my family every time I work out. For my sissy, Claudia, who always encourages me to jog just a little more, to eat healthy snacks, and who stopped inviting me to Cozy Corner for my corn dogs and fries! For my sister, Marissa, who every time she sees me tells me how good I look and reminds me that I have to eat in a way that is maintainable for the rest of my life—she grounds me! For my brothers for understanding that it may have taken me a very, very long time to find the motivation to finally begin this journey—and for never once criticizing me for being on it!
For my co-workers, who watched me go from chilli cheese fries and a cheeseburger for lunch to a variety of healthy meals instead. For telling me that donuts are the devil and not putting them out in the open where I could steal them.
For my core ladies both near and far, who continue to find ways to lift me up and motivate me to keep going on this journey. For posting on my Facebook wall or commenting on my status updates how the changes I have made in my life are helping them in some way. Little do you know that it is YOU who help me!For Sean and Trevor at TZone Fitness, who work me to the point of delirium. For Sean, who from the first moment I walked into the gym has always called me a “champ” and has always told me that I could do ANYTHING…and proves it to me by making me try EVERYTHING! For believing that this fat girl who feared exercise would learn to love boxing gloves and interval training. For Trevor who is always a beacon of support when I see him at TZone. For taking care of me when I walk in and don’t find Sean there. For never letting me walk on the treadmill without at least a level 10 incline (boy does that burn the next day!).
For Joe, the man who refuses to take credit for any of this. For kickstarting this journey with a public challenge. For offering to train me only needing “a line in the ground.” For congratulating me on what I am doing right, calling me on what I am not doing so right, and for holding my hand every step of the way. For shouting “hard work…dedication” when all I want to do is cry from exhaustion. For accepting my text every Friday morning after I weigh in, and responding with positivity even on weeks when I only lose 4 OUNCES! You insist I owe you nothing. This holds as much truth as a hundred stray dogs running behind me in the streets of Mexico because I have bacon in my pockets. Thank you for teaching me to believe in ME!I have so many more people to thank, but then it would sound as if this journey has come to an end. We are so far from that point. We have many miles to go and many more pounds to lose before my body is healthy, but we will get there!
Life is good.