Monday, May 5th, 2014
On getting off track, losing the failure mindset, and
picking up the pieces.
I believe I still owe you guys a blog entry on the Warrior
Dash and all the glory that I felt that day. Please bear with me because I feel
that today’s post should be given more importance than my own victory story.
Lately I have had MANY friends and Facebook allies tell me that
they feel badly about the fact that they have “gotten off track” or that they
have “fallen from the journey.” Some have even gone as far as saying that they
have “tried and failed” and can’t seem to get the motivation to keep going.
I get it. Really, I do. These are real human emotions that if we didn't feel them, well, we would
probably be categorized as felines or simians (or insert your favorite animal
type here).
I will start with those of you who think you have “gotten off track” from your journey. From the time
you are born to the time you breathe your last breath, it is all ONE journey.
Consider that when you gave your first scream or came out with a powerful fist
bump proclaiming, “I’m here!” that you began your journey aboard the train
named LIFE. Your parents bought you a
ticket, put you aboard, and helped guide you from one destination to another,
reaching each one with finesse and flair. You never got off that train. After
all, it’s called LIFE and you’re
still living it.
If you were to look on a map of roads that train tracks are
laid on, you will quickly notice that very few destinations are reached using
only straight tracks without having to go through stretches of tracks that
contain curves, dips, or inclines. The train doesn't need to stop before taking
a curve. The train seldom stops before driving through a dark tunnel. Heck, the
train could run miles and miles on auto-pilot mode, right?
This is exactly like your journey!
You begin your journey, whether it is weight loss, fitness,
education, pregnancy, health-related, etc., and just when you feel that you
deviated from what you or others perceive to be the perfect journey, do you
feel like you got off the track? Do you feel like your train stopped and you
can’t get back on the tracks? Does this sound like what you feel like after you
had a cheat meal, cheat day, or skipped a few workouts (if your journey is
weight loss)?
Let me remind you now and hopefully it sticks: you will not
reach your destination on a straight track. You WILL have curves. You will have
dips. You will have inclines. You just will. Expect it. Embrace it. Thank
Creator for it. This does not mean that you have “gotten off track.” I will
even go as far as saying that this in no way indicates that you have “fallen
from your journey.” This means that you are progressing on your journey.
This reminds me of the time that I was working out with Sean
and felt that I couldn't go on. My body was not doing what he wanted me to do
and I felt frustrated that my heart rate was raising and my breaths were
getting shorter. I will never forget how he saved me from myself that day by
reminding me that he never said my journey would be easy; he simply said that it
gets easier. In other words, it will never be harder than that first day of my
journey. I have faith in those words. Sometimes faith is all I have.
So the next time you feel that you are getting off of the
tracks of your journey, remind yourself that although the shortest distance
between two objects is a straight line, the lessons you teach yourself on those
curves are well worth the time it takes for you to reach your destination!
The failure mindset; that nasty trait that some of us have
when things just don’t seem to go our way. We deviate from our plan. We don’t
meet a deadline. We break a promise to ourselves. We didn't hit that weight
loss goal at the end of the month. These are all examples of events that are
important enough to halt our journeys. They don’t have to. As a matter of fact,
they shouldn't!
You’re going to fail. There. Yes, I said it. YOU WILL FAIL!
If failing means that you didn't fit into the dress you planned so long to
wear, then you failed. If failing means that you have to take an extra semester
to graduate because you need 3 more units, then you failed. If failing means
that the scale reflected a 3 pound loss instead of 9 pounds, then you failed.
So. What now?
The test is not in whether or not you will fail (because
failure is part of the human experience); the test is in what your action(s)
will be to pick yourself up. Repeat it. THE TEST IS NOT IN WHETHER OR NOT YOU WILL FAIL; THE TEST IS IN WHAT YOUR ACTION(S) WILL BE TO PICK YOURSELF UP!
Will you throw together another outfit that makes you feel
attractive and call it a day, or will you spend your time and energy thinking
about everything you could have changed to ensure that you fit in that dress?
Will you congratulate yourself for the lessons you learned towards
healthier eating and moving your body, or will you spend your time and energy
counting how many times you ate a bag of chips or a dessert before going
to bed?
Will you look at how far you have come (against the toughest
of odds) to graduate with a college/university degree, or will you keep
berating yourself for needing to take extra time to complete it?
What do you choose? What will you do? How will you react to
failing?
This, my friends, is the test. I am here to tell you that the test is impossible to
fail it because I have given you the answers: get up, dust yourself off, and
remind yourself that it is all part of the journey!
If this doesn't work for you…if you can’t seem to pick
yourself up after failing and you can’t figure out why, let me know. I will
remind you of all the ways that you are NOT FAILING. I will remind you that
your journey is one worth being on, and staying on. I will remind you that there
is nothing wrong with admitting that you need a helping hand. After all, my
hand has been held throughout my entire journey…why wouldn't I be willing to hold
yours?
So we have determined that our journeys have curves. So I
have implored you to get back up after your failure. How, then, do we pick up
the pieces?
It’s exhausting to fail. It’s even more exhausting picking
up the pieces. Trust me when I say that there is equal value that should be
given to each. Acknowledge the failure—then bury the anger and disappointment
that accompany it. Seek ways to change your course. Change your mindset!!!!
Not every setback is a failure. Consider it a lesson.
Consider it a building block towards your pinnacle of success. Consider it a
tool to place in your leadership toolkit…you never know when someone will come
to you upset about actions that mirror what you have been through. Use everything
you go through to push yourself forward.
Gather momentum. Pause for a moment. Catch your breath. Start
again. Eyes on the prize. Pause for a moment. Is there something you need to
change? Does your path, although curvy, seem clear of debris and obstacles? If
not, focus on the things you can change—ONLY ON THE THINGS THAT ARE WITHIN YOUR
CONTROL! Catch your breath. Start again.
Picking up the pieces is a never-ending cycle. Trust and
believe in your ability to keep the lessons you will need for later, and
discard those that will continuously promote failure. Your journey is worth
YOUR weight in gold. Don’t let anyone steal it from you. YOU control it.
Life is good. Really, it is.
